I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
