Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
