girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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