just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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