I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
