Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
i think i just lost a toe
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
