I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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