dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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