Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
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You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
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Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
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