I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I touched a dick in church today
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