I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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