Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
