Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night? http://tfl.nu/z8ke
  Replies (22) Good night (8880) Bad night (1217)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all http://tfl.nu/8geg
  Replies (14) Good night (763) Bad night (2501)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?

  (214): View more from Texas

  Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird? (214): Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb? http://tfl.nu/cbow
  Replies (87) Good night (1837) Bad night (5179)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing. http://tfl.nu/h8rn
  Replies (49) Good night (1273) Bad night (5651)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs http://tfl.nu/h4tc
  Replies (43) Good night (5389) Bad night (1410)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth.. http://tfl.nu/0ol0
  Replies (19) Good night (5460) Bad night (1848)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep. http://tfl.nu/tjlf
  Replies (15) Good night (7189) Bad night (1244)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey http://tfl.nu/5avv
  Replies (4) Good night (2041) Bad night (1161)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation http://tfl.nu/9svf
  Replies (6) Good night (1070) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him. http://tfl.nu/jwhd
  Replies (1) Good night (1143) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (551): View more from New Jersey

  Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (551): Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners http://tfl.nu/77j3
  Replies (4) Good night (1594) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.

  (708): View more from Illinois

  And it tastes incredible.

  (708): View more from Illinois

  And I have chest pains.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee. (708): And it tastes incredible. (708): And I have chest pains. http://tfl.nu/iw1m
  Replies (7) Good night (1373) Bad night (640)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar http://tfl.nu/xi33
  Replies (2) Good night (706) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (831): ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty. http://tfl.nu/yaxr
  Replies (2) Good night (544) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night http://tfl.nu/2x2r
  Replies (1) Good night (793) Bad night (341)

Randomize