Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased

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  (617): Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased http://tfl.nu/sw63
  Replies (19) Good night (3699) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.

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  (336): If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule. http://tfl.nu/wdvp
  Replies (27) Good night (3496) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Whoa Z and x make the same sound

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  (717): Whoa Z and x make the same sound http://tfl.nu/syb7
  Replies (30) Good night (3441) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  to do: lose virginity to hamster dance

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  (617): to do: lose virginity to hamster dance http://tfl.nu/0r0s
  Replies (25) Good night (985) Bad night (2534)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.

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  (517): Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever. http://tfl.nu/y7ox
  Replies (47) Good night (4105) Bad night (1268)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.

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  (973): Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day. http://tfl.nu/sevp
  Replies (58) Good night (9412) Bad night (1028)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...

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  (610): I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events... http://tfl.nu/y2xk
  Replies (26) Good night (7548) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.

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  (780): I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop. http://tfl.nu/zx6t
  Replies (31) Good night (5473) Bad night (953)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.

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  (724): I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo. http://tfl.nu/korz
  Replies (12) Good night (7863) Bad night (959)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!

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  (708): Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday! http://tfl.nu/a9dm
  Replies (8) Good night (2395) Bad night (738)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".

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  (509): Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable". http://tfl.nu/w1e1
  Replies (19) Good night (1540) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.

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  (202): i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy. http://tfl.nu/piez
  Replies (6) Good night (717) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.

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  (224): i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing. http://tfl.nu/a3ha
  Replies (5) Good night (391) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?

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  (908): if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator? http://tfl.nu/2ohc
  Replies (5) Good night (887) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day

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  (617): I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day http://tfl.nu/dw3u
  Replies (0) Good night (646) Bad night (243)

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