So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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