I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Non-Jews are for practice
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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