jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
