im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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