I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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