There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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