Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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