your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
