im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
