I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
