I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
