we have officially lost it.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
