yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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