Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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