Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
