You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
