There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
