I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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