My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
