i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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