You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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