sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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