We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
