My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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