I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
