she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
