You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
