I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
