just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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