he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
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The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
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Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
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