Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
