She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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