She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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