I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
