i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
