Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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