apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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