He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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