I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
