What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
