Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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