The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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