The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
