Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize