I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
