She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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