My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
