his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
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I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
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my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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