Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
