last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
My feet surprised me
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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